You look so fine
by Vavarolf
Summary: One shot / Songfic / CloTi


**You look so fine**

It was a quite busy evening.  
>The bar was well attended and I had quite a hard time to manage all the orders.<br>„Tifa, Darling… could'chu get me another beer, please?"  
>„Rude… dont'cha think we should go… I mean we're really drunk."<br>I had to laugh.  
>Rude was such a quiet person but if he had two or three beer, he totally changed.<br>"Oh, guys please stay for a little longer." I said with a bright smile.  
>They visited my bar regularly and each time it was a great pleasure for me. It was nice having them around.<br>„Reno… do you see that? I mean her smile. I can't say no. We stay!"  
>I opened the fridge and placed two bottles of beer on the bar, right in front of the former Turks, our former enemies.<br>"These are for free, guys."  
>Reno grinned from ear to ear.<br>„You're a pearl!"  
>I had already put Marlene and Denzel to bed, before I opened the "Seventh Heaven".<br>My eyes wandered impatiently to the clock. It was late. Cloud was still out.  
>But you could have never been sure, when or even if he came home.<br>Some men waited for their drinks so I hurried, ignored that they were leering at me and sighed exhausted.  
>A few months have passed since the Geositgma occurrence. At least he started to sleep at home again. But still it was hard for me to reach out to Cloud.<br>Why he just had to be such a damn complicated person?  
>Why…<br>Why wasn't he able to return my feelings for him?  
>I really wasn't cagey about my feelings for him. He knew it. He knew it excactly.<br>I was washing up some dishes while my eyes wandered automaticially to the picture of Denzel, Marlene, Cloud and me.  
><strong><br>You look so fine  
>I want to break your heart<br>And give you mine**

I truly loved his beautiful eyes. They were strong, proud and at the same time full of sadness and pure emotion.  
>All this sorrow he carried deep within. I always tried my best to help him as much as I could.<br>And there were moments in my life when Cloud rewarded me. Then he would lay his arms around me, whispering "thank you" and smiling softly at me.  
>And it was these spare, tender moments between us, from which I took nourishment for my faith.<br>My faith, that Cloud could love me in return one day. And these moments kept me going, being strong and waiting patiently for him.  
>Suddenly the door opened but I didn't notice it at first.<p>

**It's so insane  
>You've got me tethered and chained<br>I hear your name  
>And I'm falling over<br>**

„Hey, Cloud you're finally home.", Reno suddenly said.  
>I didn't turn around but only the sound of his name was enough make me weak at my knees.<br>I wasn't able to understand this. It was so insane. After all this time, all the things we had been through, I felt like silly high school girl, bashfully adoring her secret crush.

"Again, he is unbelievably chatty." Reno said with no reservation, showing his sarcasm.  
>"Hard day.", was Cloud's short and only response.<br>He was already on his way to the stairs when I stopped him.  
>"Is it so hard for you to say "hello" to me?", I asked him snippy, but I regretted it just one moment later.<br>I really didn't want to be that way. But from time to time I felt provoked by his behavior and sometimes I was really angry with him.  
>"Tifa… I just wanna go to bed."<br>And with these words I let him go.  
>Sometimes I asked myself how much more patient I could be.<br>"Tifa, come on, forget him. Take Rude, he's not very chatty as well but not as grumpily as Mr. Strife is!", Reno said cheerfully.  
>Rude blushed and I had to smile. At least they tried to make me laugh.<br>It was late when I could finally close the bar for the night.  
>Some guests had no intention to go but Reno and Rude helped me to get rid of these guys.<br>After I said goodbye to them I locked the door and began to clean the mess.  
>I was not able to get Cloud's behavior out of my head. I really felt sad.<br>It was not the first time he treated me that way but at that moment I felt deeply vulnerable and suddenly tears welled up.

**Knocked down**  
><strong>Cried out<strong>  
><strong>Been down just to find out<strong>  
><strong>I'm through<strong>  
><strong>Bleeding for you<strong>

Maybe I just felt lonesome. It was not only Cloud having a hard time.  
>I loved my work and my bar but it was stressful. I took care of two children and… no, to be honest, I took care of three children.<br>All I was longing for was some tenderness, support and true affection. And I desperately wanted it from him.

There were nights in which I only cried and cried. Of course I knew that it was stupid.  
>And of course I knew that there were tons of men which desired me.<br>But I just wanted Cloud. I was irrevocably in love with him. And there was nothing in this world that could change that feeling.  
>Suddenly I heard someone coming down the stairs. I wiped my tears off quickly and started to clean the bar.<br>My heart skipped a beat when I looked at his sleepy and cute face.

**You look so fine...**

„Good morning", he murmured after he had taken a glass of water and sat down on a barstool.  
>I wanted to answer him but I was afraid that he could hear the tremble in my voice.<br>"Tifa… what's wrong?" I could hear his confusion.

Still I wasn't able to answer him, stared at the bar and robotically whisked it.  
>His strong hand touched my shoulder softly and suddenly I got goose bumps.<br>"Do you want to talk, Tifa?"  
>And there it was. One of these moments. My tears came down like a waterfall und I sobbed.<br>"Why are you crying?"  
>I turned around, I didn't want him to see me cry.<br>"I don't know…", I said and tried to calm myself.  
>„I feel lonely, Cloud."<br>None of us spoke a word. He knew, what I was trying to say. He knew, what I wanted.  
>„Tifa, you know… I can't… it's…her…"<p>

**You look so fine  
>I'm like the desert tonight<br>Leave her behind**

A sad smile crossed my lips.  
>"Yes, I know… it's her."<p>

**I'm not like all the other girls**  
><strong>I won't take it like the other girls<strong>  
><strong>I won't fake it like the other girls<strong>  
><strong>That you used to know<strong>

"But I am here Cloud. I am standing right in front of you. I'm not maybe her… but.."  
>I took all my courage, turned around and looked at him. I was pretty sure that he would go to his bed without another word.<br>But he didn't. He came a few steps closer to me and placed his hand on my cheek. My heart started to beat faster and faster. His eyes focused mine.  
>I wasn't able to read his thoughts at that moment. His expression was soft, his scent confused me and started a fire deep within my belly. His touch was tender.<br>And then he kissed me. Softly…  
>I didn't know why he kissed me. Did he feel sorry for me? Was it guilt? Did it hurt him to see me like that?<br>But I didn't want to think about it further. I laid my arms around his neck and kissed him back. The feelings within me almost drove me crazy. I forgot to breath.  
>After a while I looked at him and he smiled. He was so pretty that I thought my heart would burst into a thousand pieces.<p>

**You're taking me over**  
><strong>Drown in me one more time<strong>  
><strong>Hide inside me tonight<strong>  
><strong>Do what you want to do<strong>  
><strong>Just pretend happy end<strong>  
><strong>Let me know let it show<strong>

"Tifa...", he said softly  
>„I am not able to love you like you love me. I can never give you all the things, other men could give you."<br>I shaked my head.  
>"No matter what you give, it will be enough for me."<br>I knew that I couldn't have him for me completely. I knew that I had to share him my whole life.  
>He breathed deeply and kissed me again.<br>„ I don't want to hurt you.", he whispered.  
>„Be quiet.", I said with a happy smile.<br>Words were unnecessary.

**Let's pretend, happy end**

He laid me softly on his bed.  
>I knew that I could never have my happy ending. But for that night, my deepest wish was to pretend it.<p>

Only for one night, Cloud.

**Let's pretend, happy end**

Song: Garbage - You look so fine

I don't own any rights and I don't earn money with this story.


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